5 Habits Parents are Doing Your Children Hate
Yes, even though I believe whole hardly that you’re a great mom, there are habits that you have your children HATE!!!! Wait, what? I live in a parenting world where for the most part, I don’t revolve around my children. Yes, my life is super busy with their sports schedules, and I am always looking for that ultimate teachable moment, but even I have habits my children hate.
But, us moms should have things we enjoy too, RIGHT?
Of course, and this is not to mom shame at all. We ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, deserve the right to indulge in the things we love, even if these habits our children hate. But, there is a time and a place for everything. Allow me to shed some light on the things we are doing as parents that our children REALLY hate.
5 Habits Parents Are Doing Your Children Hate
The iPhone Stuck In Your Face
So I started off with the one probably all of us are guilty of every day. Right now, you’re probably on my blog reading this post this very minute, trying to catch a little mom break while your toddler is running around the living room chucking matchbox cars at your head. (By the way, thanks for reading) As a blogger, my phone has become an actual extremity. It’s bad some days. But mommy’s work is at home so how do I fix this habit my kid’s hate?
Find times when you can sit and check your email, browse Pinterest for the next trending DIY Paw Patrol Party, or stalk someone on Facebook when the kids don’t really notice mom is busy enjoying the things she actually likes. For instance, I wake up before the kids do and quickly read my bible verses on my phone, check my Etsy store for orders, stroll through Pinterest, and check my blog for comments.
I allow adequate play time and bonding time with the kids and then in the afternoon, usually when my toddler is eating lunch we sit and talk together while mommy checks things out on twitter. Naps are also a perfect time to haul out that phone and enjoy some quiet mom time.
So, while our kids hate our phones being stuck in our face all the time there are decent times where you can use your phone without it annoying the crap out of your kids. When your kids are finally off to bed read this for when you’re husband is at work, hint……. he’ll love it!
Gossip Gossip Gossip
Every parent says the same thing, “ As soon as I get on my phone, my children start fighting or wanting my attention, and I can’t even talk.” Right? This screams true in every household. Your kids hate that you’re not giving them your attention. For some reason, they were born to believe we should revolve around them and while most of us moms know this isn’t true, the kids still cling to this hope that one day their shenanigans will triumph, and mom will put down the phone and literally start circling her kids waiting for their next demand. So, when can I talk to my girlfriend about the latest struggles I’ve endured? Or find out what everyone’s cooking for supper, as I’m so sick of coming up with ideas week after week?
Time and place for everything…..
So we can’t help that unexpected doctor appointment call, or your mom calling to check in, but we can control when we chat for long periods of time and not let it impact our kids. Again, nap times are great for catching up on time with your friends, in the evening after the littlest has gone to bed. Try to save that juicy gossip call for when your kids one, don’t have to listen and two they’re so busy with their stuff or asleep; they don’t even care.
Over Performing For Other Moms
Oh my gosh, my kids hate this. So we all want to look good for our mom friends and what better way than to share a story of our child and how we handled it. What way to rid ourselves of mom guilt and build up our confidence as the ultimate parent, by tossing our kids into the ring of embarrassment and sharing our victory over the kids’ unspeakable behavior. Come on; you know you’ve all done it a time or two.
At school pick up all the moms come together to embrace their kids after a long day of school to then quickly do the puffed-up bird dance to see who’s “momming” the best. Yeah, I know it’s crazy and super humiliating to our children. I know there are times where we share our stories of parenting to encourage other moms, that they’re not alone, that this too shall pass. But stop doing it in front of your kids for our own benefit.
Children most often feel ashamed for their behavior or mistake and want to make it right. But, to throw them back into a situation they thought had disappeared is hurtful and they hate it. So, if you want to share a parenting moment with a friend, go for it, but not in front of the kids.
I know you’re going to be shocked when I tell you this, and even roll out of your chair in disbelief, but kids want discipline in their lives. No, they won’t shout for joy when they get in trouble, but their hearts are full at the end of the day when they know we love them and care.
But there are ways to approach your child’s unwanted behaviors, and it is not screaming. They hate it when we scream. Imagine your boss handling your every mistake with screaming outbursts. What crazy anxiety we would have every day going into work. Imagine what your kids must feel like in the morning waking up to a mom that’s basically a ticking time bomb.
Yes, we will have moments where we lose our cool and holler. But to approach discipline with screaming is very scary to children and is really counterproductive. Scaring them only temporarily distracts them and instills fear and they are less ambitious to do better. So try for a calmer approach because in my experience, not only do children hate being screamed at they start to disrespect themselves and their parents. Which, I know, is the last thing you want for your babies.
Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire
So lying becomes part of a normal parents’ routine. Not because we want to be big fat liars to our kids, but because we think it protects them from the God-awful truth. But kids are super smart and usually know the truth, and we just don’t realize it. I’m not saying tell them the truth and traumatize them either. But there are ways to chat with our kids that does not involve lies, but also speaks the truth in a more delicate way to our children.
When your kids find out that you have lied to them about so many things they begin to break down their trust in your word and respect for you. If it’s something they really shouldn’t know, then be clear and say this conversation isn’t something we can chat about When you’re a little older we will discuss this when you can better understand what mommy is trying to tell you.
It’s okay to protect them from the harsh truth sometimes, but living a sheltered life has never proved to be a great parenting approach either.
To work on a more patient approach at parenting check this article out here!