Do you find yourself in a place where you’re always trying to restrain anger and yelling like you’re falling off the edge of loving kindness to the depths of an unglued mess with your children? Why does it seem so much easier to be mad and lack patience than love and kindness with the little ones we love so dearly?
Don’t lose hope! Becoming a mother, and motherhood are beautiful moments in life we treasure, but it also requires a kind of sacrificial love that is learned over time, a new kind of thinking.
As a single woman, I remember the absurd amount of effort I put into keeping my car cleaned. Vacuuming all the time, “Windexing” the windows, “Armor Alling” the dash, my car was spotless. That extraordinary shine and immaculate interior brought me great pleasure. Right up until my first baby dumped her Cheerios all over her seat, melted crayons from the hot sun that got left in the cracks, of where the car seat meets my precious leather seats, oh, my blood would boil. Mommy would keep her cool, but inside I was a raging lunatic.
It wasn’t long after having kids that I realized life is going to be different now. Some things I would just have to let go of, and other things I would need to make adjustments to. Like, not freaking out when gum was stuck to my carpet.
Our babies are gifts, and although they can make HUGE messes and seem to be born with the ability to know exact buttons to push mommy over the edge, we simply can’t!
5 WAYS TO BECOME A MORE PATIENT MOM
- In your anger, do not sin:
Ephesians 4:26 say’s, In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. We’re going to get angry, but God says’s do not sin. When your child does something that brings you to anger, it’s time to take a moment for yourself and regroup your thoughts. Let your child know you will come back to them and that mommy just needs to think quietly. Sometimes raw emotions can instantly bring anger and sadness and reacting in this state of mind is just too dangerous. Take a moment to think about what is going on at that very moment. Ask yourself these crucial questions:
What is the real truth of the situation? Our raw emotion can blow everything out of proportion.
What does God say about the situation? Go to your Bible, and seek answers from God’s word.
Is it really a big deal? How can we make the situation not so dramatic and relax more and find a way to respond in love.
I don’t know about you, but I remember the moments my parents came “unglued”. It’s my goal as a mommy to have very few of these moments in my child’s memory bank.
Psalm 4:4 say’s Tremble and do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. My sweet mommy’s, God knows being a mother is hard. He knows you’re weary and exhausted. Give your heart to God, tell Him your secrets, your struggles, cry out to Him. Pray for patience with your children. Don’t stop praying. He will answer you, He will never leave you nor forsake you. Becoming a parent requires a new heart, a new way of thinking, pray for these changes to keep taking place. Pray for the loving kindness you long for when parenting your child.
Some say patience is a virtue and this couldn’t be further from the truth. But we have Jesus who modeled patience perfectly and we can seek His help. Here is an example prayer when seeking the Lord for patience:
Dear Heavenly Father, I have yet failed again with screaming at my children and losing my patience. Lord, I just can’t seem to get it right! Day in and day out I wake up wanting to be a happy mom, one whose patience is unbreakable, but I always’s lose it. My exhaustion sets in, my positive attitude goes flying out the door and have now become the mommy my kids hate. The mommy, I hate! The mommy I know you never intended me to be. Help me, Lord, work in my heart and in my mind to be the patient mother I long to be. The mom that doesn’t tear down the walls of her house with anger and shatter the hearts of the sweet babies you’ve given me. In Jesus’s name, Amen!
Don’t stop praying moms! He is listening and working with you even at this very moment. Don’t lose hope! Just keep on keeping on and remember every day is a new day, every moment is a new moment and you can turn this around, right now! God will never give you more than you can handle.
- Refresh, Reboot:
Every mother needs to stop and take some time for herself. Mom’s wear so many hats and a day in the life of a mother is exhausting. We are wake-up service, maids, chefs, nurses, personal assistants, chauffeurs, shuttle service for friends, laundry service, coaches, oh and the list goes on and on. To add to the many hats as a mother, we are also a friend and wife.
Life can seem so overwhelming with the burden to care for so many people it’s easy to let yourself go. Forget what your needs are as a person because we naturally put them on the back burner as we care for our family.
Well, today you will stop. In order to be a better mom, and a patient mom you need to care for yourself. You need to refresh your soul and reboot in order to go on. Here’s a list on how to refresh and reboot:
Take a bath
Read your favorite book
Schedule a coffee date with your best friend (kids play at the park)
Get a mani and a pedi
Get a sitter, just because
Have your husband get up with the baby tonight
Get some exercise
If there is something you love doing, then find time to do it. Now, obviously this isn’t something you can do all the time, but it’s refreshing and helps you to regroup and focus as a mom. I like to take long, uninterrupted showers while the baby sleeps and the kids are at school. Take care of you, mom!
I know, I know, sleep is hard to come by these days with little ones. But, nonetheless, still very important. It’s imperative that you get your kids into a good sleeping routine. Having them in bed at a decent hour so mom can have some alone time and take that bath.
I know the day’s I come “unglued” are most often the day’s I stayed up too late, and I’m already in a bad place even before the kids get up. So, let’s not allow this to happen, patience is already hard enough to come by.
Even with brand new babies, being up every two hours feeding can be hard, but find time to rest when the baby and little one’s nap, don’t try and overdo it. When nights come and go and sleep just didn’t come easy the night before, plan a low key day for you and the kids and relax with them. Find things to do that they enjoy, that does not require a lot of “ mom guidance.”
Get your rest, so the next day you don’t feel the battle, against you has already won, before you even hit your feet to the floor.
Through the chaos of the day, I know all too well, with three kids, that having a consistent schedule is hard to maneuver. But, so important! Try and have a consistent routine every day. Your kids will look to you constantly for what is next, to keep them from badgering you all day, if there is a schedule they can get used to, they will already know what’s next without bugging mom.
Moms, you are beautiful women inside and out. Life can be overwhelming with everyone else’s demands on your shoulders. Stay close to God, hand your heavy heart over to him and trust in him, that He will be your strength during times of weakness, your grace during times of chaos and forgiveness in times for new beginnings.Put together a schedule that works for you and your family. Just make sure you have one and try to stick to it, it will help with patience. It’s okay that you fall from the schedule once and a while as that’s life and fun.
You’ve got this and keep practicing everyday patience with your children. It’s a conscious choice to either lose it or keep your calm. Take the steps today and start rocking your motherly patience.
Tell me how you keep your patience with your kids.