Five Tips to Supercharge Your Marriage

Five Tips to Supercharge Your Marriage

 

Has your marriage been tossed to the curb?  You always question how you can keep on keeping on when things seem so bleak.  Marriage is tough work.  I wish billboard signs could be at every corner worldwide, so that all may see that marriage is not a dozen roses or a box of chocolates.  Images at every corner of unpaid bills, conflicting schedules, an emotionless relationship, children, work, loss of self and identity.

Marriage is a bag of chaos……….

and when not equipped with the right tools; it becomes a dark foreign place.  All of these things are a familiar story for many couples, but they don’t have to add stress or bitterness with your spouse.  Apply these five tips to supercharge your marriage and start enjoying your spouse the way God intended you to.

Five Tips To Supercharge Your Marriage Today!

5 Tips to SUPERCHARGE Your Marriage Today Stop living in the day to day misery of a failing marriage. Apply these 5 tips to SUPERCHARGE your relationship today.

 

Love

I know this seems obvious right?  Well, as apparent as it may seem, it’s one of the toughest things to do once a marriage has gone sour.  It’s so hard to love when your spouse causes so much heartache in your life, right?  But here’s the truth, God tells us to love our enemies.  OUR ENEMIES!  It’s a command he has given us to OBEY.  If he gives us the strength and guidance to like people that have set out to hurt us, then he has given you the power to love your spouse.

 

John 15:17

This is my command: Love each other

 

Matthew 5:44

But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

 

The world tells us that love is an emotion.  That love is the butterflies, the lust, the kisses, the fun, the goo goo gah gah of life.  But God tells us that love is to honor, love is patient, it is not self-seeking, it protects, and trusts.

 

1 Corinthians 13-4:8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Start making love a choice, today.  Love your spouse no matter his or her behavior. (I do not in any way condone abuse, I only mean if your husband leaves his dirty underwear everywhere, or doesn’t greet you the way you would like when he first comes home, choose love anyway.)  Why, because God wants to bless you for your behavior, your choices, your obedience.

Forgiveness

Years of pain and hurt have buried you alive.  You are now at a point you’re so angry and bitter you hate who you’ve become.  Everything your spouse does, you hate.  The very breath they take makes your skin crawl.  Your marriage has become so bad that you now think divorce is inevitable. Okay, slow down.  I speak from experience that this kind of hate can breed over time when allowing your spouse’s poor choices to go unforgiven.

Like many things he or she does to hurt the marriage, you contribute as much filth on top of the pile of garbage waiting just to get set next to the curb of life.  Are you bitter, angry, hateful, harsh with your words, degrading towards your spouse in front of the kids or your parents, disrespectful???? Any of these sound familiar?  It’s time to look in the mirror and recognize your faults. We ALL have them.  By no means do I feel your pain is not justified.  But God wants to bring you healing and peace that surpasses all understanding, but He can’t do that when you don’t forgive.

 

Mark 11:25

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

 

Matthew 7:4  

How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?

When you’re addressing your spouse for ways that have torn you down, you’re allowing judgment to take root in your relationship.  Forgive and pray.  Keep praying.  Tell God your struggles, not your spouse.  Communication in marriage is essential, but take your tears to the Lord.  Tell him, the one who can move mountains, your fears, and worries and lay your pain down at his feet.  Ask for forgiveness for your wrongdoing and pray that God shows you where unforgiveness towards your spouse is hiding in your heart.

 

Service  

It’s easy to get caught up in the chaos of life to start resenting most everything you do.  “Well, I have to always get up early with the kids!”  “ I always do the laundry!”  “Why don’t you cook for once?”  This kind of attitude can sneak out of nowhere and start damaging your relationship.  Here’s the thing, God has called all of us to be someone.  Whatever we may be doing in this life, we should find peace and joy in doing so.

Things could always get much worse……..

I’m a stay at home mom now, and sometimes I get caught up in the same old thing every day while my husband gets to go off to work and be around people and talk like an adult with other adults.  I miss that so much! But then I quickly remind myself what it felt like to get up and go to work every Monday.  How the weekends were never long enough.  Hating putting my kids in daycare.  Struggling to keep up with the house, kids, and work.  Now, my time is at home doing everything I need to do, and I can sneak off to the beach any day with the kids, and when I’m sick, I don’t need to worry about the aftermath of upsetting my boss.

So whether you’re working or home with the kids do all your work with a happy and grateful heart.

When I started applying this to my life, I found myself smiling while washing the floor.  I cranked up the music, had a hot cup of coffee and started banging out housework.  It felt good inside knowing that my husband and children would have a clean home to come back to after a long day.  I delight in serving my husband and making him happy.  Let me also mention that he helps me as well and is always helping with the kids and the home.  This is not a one-way street, but if your husband is less inclined to help around the house, encourage him when he does and keep glorifying the Lord in your work.

 

Intentional Living

Are you intentional about how you handle your partner every second of the day?  Well, it’s time to start.  Life is busy and chaotic and when the crazy sets in you need to make sure you are always intentional with your spouse.  Deliberate to open doors, reading scripture together, praying, kissing, dating, valuing one another, and making each other feel cherished in the relationship.

When you get too caught up in your life, you begin to forget the value of your spouse.  Now, the light is always on you.  How your day was, your personal problems you encounter, your achievements, while the other spouse feels unvalued and unworthy. Make sure that you take at least a half hour a day to lift your partner up and care about his or her goals, struggles, and accomplishments.  Be an active listener and strong shoulder.

 

Prayer

Last but not least, be praying for each other.  Lift your spouse up to God every day and many times a day.  Praise God for your marriage triumphs and get on your knees with your struggles.  Don’t ever stop praying because Satan is waiting to devour the man or woman you love, and he wants to destroy your marriage.

 

I find praying through scripture really helps me.  Here is an example I use:

 

1 Corinthians 13-4:8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Help me to be patient with my husband.  I know that I can lash out quickly or get annoyed Father easily and I ask for your forgiveness and pray for the strength to tame my tongue and the guidance to speak life. Help me to be a kind woman in his life.  Let my smile be the very thing he longs to see every day.  Let my kindness be a model of your love, Lord.  Help me not to be jealous and bitter towards him, but to be grateful for the gift you have given me Lord. Don’t allow my pride to build up so that my husband feels less than, that I’m unable to see my sin and feel puffed up and right all the time.  Help me to be humble in all my ways.

Let me serve my husband with great reverence to encourage him to be the man of God you will him to be.  Lord, help me to do all things to glorify you solely, and not take all the glory upon myself.  Allow my actions to be pure and holy that I do not fall into sin and help me to protect my marriage and my husband and hold on to your promises that I may persevere with hope and faith in you.  It’s in Jesus name I pray, Amen!

 

Take time to see God work through your marriage.  He hears your every word and will work out everything for good.  He has a perfect plan. Be a prayer warrior!

Take this 14 Day Challenge For marriage that will restore and bring a new found love to your marriage.

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