5 Reasons Why Marriage Counseling Won’t Work
Don’t get me wrong, in a perfect setting and at the right timing, marriage counseling can be a remarkable tool for couples who are struggling. Counseling can bring healing where pain and bitterness have set up camp for far too long. But there are 5 reasons why marriage counseling won’t work in your marriage, and if your marriage is in trouble, consider these five tips to make the best of your counseling.
Many couples believe they are better off after they receive help in their marriage.
Couples will experience great changes and progress in their relationship which in return, brings forth from what was once a marriage circling the drain to a happier and thriving relationship. Couples also find that the counseling has a lasting effect and years later, they are still implementing tools they took away from counseling. However, many couples say marriage counseling was a waste of time and their marriage ended regardless of the help they received.
What went wrong? Why are so many people succeeding, but many are still failing after counseling?
Here are 5 Reasons Why Marriage Counseling Won’t Work
- The Counselor
It’s crucial that couples explore and do some investigating before deciding on the man or woman who will counsel the relationship back to health. You want a counselor who has a high success rate with marriages and the “healthy” couples to back up the practice.
Many people can offer advice, heck people in failing marriages can suggest advice, but a good marriage counselor will have tools that are proven to work and bring restoration.
- Couples Waited Too Long
Every marriage has its ups and downs, but when a relationship starts to see significant problems don’t wait to get help. Often, the damage that has occurred has become too much for one or both spouses to reconcile.
Nothing is too hard for God, but circumstances can seem hopeless to the human heart. Get help immediately instead of waiting for a miracle. Marital problems like addiction, abuse, and infidelity need an outside helping hand.
- Only One Spouse Wants to Seek Help
Dragging your partner to counseling when he or she is refusing the help is never fruitful. You get hit head on with more bitterness and anger. It’s okay that one spouse seeks marriage counseling, but never force your spouse to go. It will only be another factor they hurl back at you in a fight. You can implement the tools you’ve learned in your marriage, but ultimately it takes two to make a marriage work.
- Individual Counseling Is Needed First
Often, trauma in marriage can break down a person. The pain and strife can cause so much dysfunction that individual counseling is required first. When one spouse or both have become completely altered into people they don’t recognize, people that have become outright hateful and bitter, need tools to heal and move past their suffering.
Typically, once one has had a chance to reset, process the past, and learn how to function in a more positive light, they are now primed to receive marriage counseling better together with their partner.
When couples seek help, it’s imperative that the beans get spilled. If a spouse is holding back the truth and lying about his or her behavior, the proper work towards restoration becomes hindered. Telling the truth can be embarrassing, and feel like a big fat failure, but it can also become freeing, and humbling, and bring your marriage to a great place of beginning and renewal.
There Is Hope
Over 75 percent of couples who seek marriage counseling remain together and find years later, that they are happier than they ever imagined possible. If your marriage becomes too hard to handle on your own, get some help from people that have proven tools to bring reconciliation to your relationship.
Marriage counseling will not work if the two of you are not hoping for the same outcome. Don’t allow too much time to slip by before your marriage comes to a crossroad and your partner has decided life is better without you.
To breathe hope back into your marriage through scripture, check this article out.